Monthly Archives: January 2013

Jan31

To Live or Not to Live in the District: No Question

Posted on by
Standard

I read with amusement a post on Slate which noted that the Presidential motorcade now carries the District of Columbia’s “Taxation Without Representation” license plates. For those who aren’t familiar with the issue, because the District of Columbia is not a state, it has no voting representatives in Congress, and thus no say in much of the policy making that goes on within its very own borders.

Or as I like to call it, Reason no. 457 that I live in Alexandria, and not the District.


For those of you aren’t familiar with the area, Alexandria is one of the cities in Virginia that, along with others in Maryland, make up the larger DC metro area. I moved to Alexandria 20 years ago today. Here are some of the things that convinced me that while the District is a nice place to visit, I wouldn’t want to live there:


The burglar-bar effect—When I was planning to move to the area, I started scanning the paper (yes, I am that old) for “roommate wanted” ads. Although my job was located in Arlington, Virginia, I thought it might be cool to live in the District itself. But then I started seeing burglar bars listed as a selling point and I thought, ehh, I know this is an urban area, but maybe somewhere else would make me feel more secure? It’s not as if no one in Alexandria has burglar bars—I have them on my basement windows because the glass is so old and crappy—they’re just not an essential item for most residences.


The “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” factor—Emergency services in the District can sometimes be…unreliable. No answer at 911, slow response, emergency teams responding to medical emergencies but arriving at the wrong place and then just turning around. I’m not disparaging first responders, but these things happen often enough to make me uncomfortable with the system. Alexandria isn’t perfect, but I can say that when I called about a teenage girl who collapsed while partying across the street from my house (around a Reliant K car?!!), the police (followed by an ambulance) arrived as I was hanging up the phone. Now that’s what I call service.


Marion Barry syndrome—Who could forget Marion “the bitch set me up” Barry? Caught on tape while smoking crack, this (still) incredibly popular four-term mayor and current DC council member is the most colorful—and memorable—example of the corruption that has plagued the city’s government for decades.  


Rats. Sooo many rats—Enough said.


I’m just not hip enough—I recently read an article about how super-fun-incredible-cool the District is. The jobs! The sexy singles! According to the article, you can tell which neighborhoods are full of hot young things by looking at the shelves at the local CVS, which are filled—just filled—with Pedialyte (for those epic hangovers) and condoms (for, well, you know). My local CVS is full of vitamins and anti-aging beauty products.


Terminally un-hip or not, I’m happy with my choice. I’ll let you know how the next 20 years goes.

Jan30

Why do dogs hate computers?

Posted on by
Standard

My boss dog, Cara Mia, won’t stop barking at me. She hates it when I get on the computer. It starts with a soft grring. Then comes the paw stomping. Finally, the sharp, full-throated “woooof!”


Is she feeling neglected? Perhaps she just wants my undivided attention? 


Here’s the thing. She doesn’t seem to care what I do—as long it’s not on the computer.


Reading a book? Engrossed in TV? Having an animated phone conversation? Meh.


It’s just the computer.

And she’s not the only dog of my acquaintance to feel this way. My beloved, but departed dog, Houdini—who would otherwise sit on the other end of the couch, back turned to me—would suddenly feel the need to interfere if I spent more than a few minutes on the computer. Physically interfere. I once lost an “s” key due to a swipe of the paw. My parents’ dog, Sterling, likes to actually block the keyboard with his body—usually his head. I’ve heard similar tales from friends.

So, I wondered: what is it with dogs and computers? Are they disturbed by the strange, slightly blue glow? Agitated by the almost-imperceptible-but-vaguely-sinister humming? Or are they like little, furry old people—confused and slightly irritated by this newfangled technology?


Perhaps. But I think that there may be deeper issues involved. I recently came across a recent British study that claims that people now rely on their computers far more than their dogs, and that in fact, computers have replaced dogs as man’s best friend.


Think about it—our laptops/iPhones/iPads go everywhere, while our dogs are stuck at home. We buy our gadgets fancy “clothes,” take them to dinner and to bed—what are our dogs supposed to think?

So I guess I owe Cara Mia an apology. Or a computer of her own….
Jan16

Psychologists Say That Emotions Affect Weight: Millions of Women Say, Duh!!

Posted on by
Standard

So, the other day I was browsing health headlines, as I do—because in my other life I am a struggling freelance health and medical writer—and I came across this: Poll of Psychologists Cites Emotions As Top Obstacle to Weight Loss.

 Well, let me just put down my pint of Ben and Jerry’s. You mean millions of us, while sad, mad, listening to Adele, or even celebrating, may over indulge?

C’est vrais. (translation: “it is true”—I like to pretend I am fluent in French).

 This survey of psychologists who work with weight loss issues says that “understanding and managing the behaviors and emotions related to weight management,” are essential to long term dieting success.

 We know, we know! But does it really help? Case in point:

This past summer, spurred by a flea/dust mite crisis, I did a massive housecleaning. I’m not a hoarder (really!), I just have a lot of clutter. Who knew I had so much stuff (and dust)? I hefted boxes and bags up and down the stairs, out to the trash, etc. And I started to lose a significant amount of weight. Great! I needed to lose, in order to get back to a healthy BMI, but also because I am vain.

However, this healthy move was offset by an incredible craving for sweets. I tried to keep them out of the house, but to my embarrassment, despite my years of ranting about high-fructose corn syrup, I became a regular at the McDonald’s drive-thru.

 So do I know what emotions may have been playing a role in this sugar crisis? Um, yeah. I think it went a bit like this:

[Sob,sob.] Damn it, my dog is dead, but these fricking fleas (I always gave Houdini flea prevention-these were super fleas) are still here! [ragged breath]

And-now-they’re-attacking-me-and-my-dust-mites-are-making-me-feel-like Miss Havisham-and-I’m-not, I’m-not, and-also-I-don’t-have-any-money-so-I-can’t-fix-my-house-up, including-my-crazy-ass-slightly-crooked-and-cracking-front-walk-and-I-just-know-that-the-neighbors-and-passersby-are-pointing-and-judging. [sniffle, deep breath in]



Or something like that….


 Psychologists say that treatment with techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help (Therapy! But I’m already in therapy.)

 Seriously, though. There are some truly traumatic experiences—such
as being abused or a survivor of violent crime—that can lead to overeating. Body image, stress, depression or just life can also get in the way. So therapy is nothing to scoff at.

 It’s good to hear the message that’s it’s not just about self-control. But I’d like to hear a little bit more about societal factors that contribute to poor body image and self-punishing overeating. Like the omnipresent messages that tell women they should all look like this:



 
  To quote a friend of mine: “I’m just sayin’”